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Interview with Aucta Sinistra
The second in our "Author Interviews" series is withauctasinistra. Aucta entered the fandom as a writer less than a year and a half ago but has quickly become popular for her consistently well-written Snape/Harry romances. She generally posts them in installments on her livejournal and then archives them at Walking the Plank, Inkstained Fingers and Skyehawke.
Aubrem: Hello Aucta, first questions first. : ) How long have you been writing fanfiction? Have you written for other fandoms? Do you write original fiction?
Aucta Sinistra: I didn’t really realize it was called that, but the first fanfic I clearly remember writing was after I watched the movie Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan. I so badly didn’t want him to die I wrote a bit of Sueage in which another ship visited the Genesis planet (all this will make no sense to non Trekkies) and found him alive. With all his people. People, you say? No, I’m not talking about Spock. I’m talking about Khan! The gorgeous Khan and his gorgeous sidekick Joaquin. Although that’s the first one I remember, I know I must’ve written “Alias Smith and Jones” stories before then, since I loved that show from the getgo, which was in 1971 if I’m remembering my getgos clearly. I’ve got a dozen half finished stories that I’ve had since I was a teenager that I still pull out occasionally to play with. My second clear fanfic memory is the story I started and soon abandoned after seeing The Man From UNCLE: The Fifteen Years Later Affair (This is long after I’d started writing original – fantasy – fiction; that began when I was 14. I still have that first story; handwritten on lined paper, and my God it sucks). The “Return” movie, as it’s called, got me totally hooked on The Man From UNCLE (the actual series was a trifle before my time) and I started watching reruns of that show and reading the novelizations and that leads me to how MFU was my first online fandom, because I was surfing about 4 years ago and came across some fanfic and got hooked on that. So MFU gets the credit for awakening me to the online fanfic world and to slash. J
Now I started reading the Harry Potter books at about that same time (that is, about 4 years ago). I read fantasy. That’s mostly what I read and write. I enjoy children’s fantasies a lot and I enjoyed these a lot. But I was never tempted to delve into reading the fanfic until (roughly) Prisoner of Azkaban / Goblet of Fire. I tiptoed over warily from MFU into the HP fandom and it was quite a shock. I had been writing MFU slash for a bit at this stage and looked mostly at the HP slash. No excuses or pretense of seeking literature – I was looking for pr0n. Snape Lucius pr0n, definitely due to the movies. That scene of the two of them side by side at the quidditch match is tailor-made eye candy. Unfortunately the Snape-Lucius I found was so disturbing (I couldn’t tell you what it was now) I ran away and dabbled warily in the shallow end of the slash pool for a while, avoiding all kinkage/channage/deathage/fanfiction.net
And this is a way longer answer than anyone could possibly want to read, but I’m old. I got a history, man. : )
Aubrem: We're all getting old, it just makes us more experienced. : ) So you got drawn in by movie Snape/Lucius and then were converted to book Snape/Harry. Why the switch? What is it about Snape/Harry that captures your imagination?
Aucta Sinistra: You know, it really was the occlumency lessons, I think. Snape had gotten more interesting, of course, with every book, and his scenes with Harry got nastier and nastier and more and more intense and ... They really do positively sizzle. Uh oh. I feel a tale coming on…one time years ago I started to write a novel. In it, the main character was this young guy who was going to fall madly in love with the young woman character who was already madly in love with an older male character, a man the young guy respected, honored, hero-worshipped. So. A triangle. I had it all planned. The young guy was also going to learn about magic, from an older sorcerer and – inadvertently – from a mysterious stranger who appeared out of nowhere. This stranger pops in and out of the story at odd moments and has brief, puzzling and argumentative scenes with the young protagonist. I gave very little analytical thought to why I enjoyed writing those scenes so much and kept adding more of them (the mysterious dude was meant to be a very minor character). Then a woman in my writing group said in passing, “There’s a lot of sexual tension between them.” I expect I gaped at her. Remember I was determined he’d fall in love with the girl. But she was dead right, and I hadn’t seen it. I’d been enamoured of the scenes, of those two guys together, their chemistry and tension and head-butting, but had never realized it was sexual ’til someone else pointed it out. Well, that all fell into place after that, and I tell this story because when I saw Snape and Harry in Order of the Phoenix, there it was. I don’t suggest JKR means it that way, or that if a reader went, “There’s a lot of UST in the Snape-Harry scenes,” she’d go, “Duh! That’s what’s happening there. Thanks!” and start slashing them. I only mean that I’ve learned that that wonderful, sometimes adversarial, tension that sucks you into the relationship between two characters can very easily become – very easily be – sexual. So I look at Snape and Harry in their occlumency scenes and, for me, it’s there. It is so there.
The added appeal is their differences in age, power, and experience. I like the clash of older/younger, experienced/inexperienced, emotionally closed/emotionally open. I also see similarities in their being odd men out, guys who are different from the people around them, bearing the weight of uninvited expectations and mistaken perceptions. Guys who keep secrets.
Then there’s just teh pretty, of course (though in my head Harry’s not movie Harry but is rather older; the chan thing’s mostly not for me).
But it’s mostly just the heat they strike off each other when they’re in the same room – whew. JKR may not mean it that way, but hell, I didn’t mean it that way in my novel, and I doubt I have to tell you where those two guys ended up. : )
Aubrem: Well, I know where Snape and Harry end up in most of your stories and I'm curious about how you decide what they do when they get there. How do you plan out the sex? Does what they do and who tops reflect their dynamic in the story?
AuctaSinistra: I don't choreograph everything: "Plot, plot, chase scene, sex scene with blow job, plot, argument, sex scene with bubble bath, Voldie duel, orgy and denouement." Not exactly. I prefer sex scenes (and to some extent my writing as a whole) to be organic; I let the muse take me where it will. For instance, in "The Holly and the Ivy," the scene in the bathtub was just sex. It's there for reasons (other than just pr0n, not that that's a bad reason) -- to show their attraction to one another, because they're two lonely males in love so it would be OOC for them not to have sex -- but the scene in itself isn't meant to convey anything beyond that, and no specific act (penetration/oral/French maid's costume) is necessary to make any points. They might've engaged in frottage in that scene and it would have been fine. If that's the way my muse had taken it, I would have gone with it (that's the organic part; I don't always stop and think "now what specific sex act is necessary to make my point?" because sometimes the sex per se is the point. That said, I do try to keep it in character, which means there is some thought and structure involved. Even in the sex-for-sex's-sake scene, Snape is dominant and possessive, because that's IC for the story). However, the first sex act in that story was making a definite (and probably rather ham-handed) point. Snape was jealous and angry. The speed, roughness and penetration were, in my view, a necessary representation of that: they were what an angry jealous Snape would do. Cuddly warm sex would have been out of character at that moment and wrong for the story.
As for toppage/bottomage: I just see Snape as needing to be a top, as seeing that as dominant and not willing to surrender that perceived power. I did write Snape bottoming in "Bottoms Up" because in a lighter humorous story I can do that. It's not that I can't be persuaded Snape would bottom. Other writers have done that. I just can't see the Snape in my head going there. Though I don't always express it in my stories I think Snape will always be a trifle jealous of Harry's power and fame, and on some level will want to dominate him because of that. My Harry would probably want to try topping but it would take time and experience for him to be able to ask for it.
That said, I wouldn't want readers to read too much into the sex scenes: In my current WIP (if you can call it that) I plan two sex scenes that each represent (and that I mean to use to reflect) two very different emotional states and power dynamics, and I considered switching who tops/bottoms to reflect that, but I don't want symbolism that's that heavy handed. Who they are and what they do out of bed is more important (says the woman who writes pr0n and doesn't even read G rated stories -- sheesh).
So yes, who tops reflects my perception of their perceptions of the relationship. :)
Aubrem: In "Hollow" you had a Snape who admitted he was attracted to powerful wizards - Voldemort, Dumbledore and finally the most powerful of all, Harry. This is a version of Snape that interests me very much - the powerful, controlled Snape who deep-down wants to be dominated by someone stronger. Do you think you will be exploring that theme further in the future?
Aucta Sinistra: Hm, For me, the desire to be near power has always been an aspect of Snape's character. I'd never explicated it before, but I can't imagine any of my Snapes, at least, not being this way to a certain extent. And although I think a part of him enjoys being dominated by powerful men (or women?), the real drive behind it is his jealousy of power and his desire to subjugate those who have it, rather than vice versa, even if it can only be briefly through sex -- hey! that sounds like he IS the Slytherin sex god, doesn't it? Odd that sex would become Snape's weapon against those more magically powerful than he, but there you go: it's a thought, anyway :). It was blatant in "Hollow" but exists in "Pariah" too, and "Scratch" and "The Holly and the Ivy" and, slightly more openly because of what happens, in the pending "This Thing of Darkness." In other words, I am exploring it a little in most of my Snarry (it's a blatant quality in the Snucius that's lingering in the back of my mind too), but at this instant I don't have solid plans to make it the foremost theme of anything.
Aubrem: Can you describe your writing process to us? People are always very curious about how other writers do what they do.
Aucta Sinistra: Fanfic is more haphazard than original fic. Generally I get an idea (always one that's been done before, occasionally from a story I'm reading, fanfic or original fic, where I go "I'd like to see what I could do with that idea," more often an image or dialogue or difficult situation that just occurs to me). Then I jot (mostly in Word, these days, though on paper in the olden days). I don't outline fanfic in any formal way because it's not long enough for me to feel I need to, but I do jot, like this (this is not a real idea I had, just e.g. off the top o' me head):
What if Harry were turned into a House Elf? And as part of the spell he couldn't tell anybody? Who did it? Why? What's needed to return him to himself and how will it result in scorching Snarry sex? Is evil Snape NICE to him, where no one can see so it doesn't get him anything? So Harry starts to see him in a different light? How the hell does Snape change him back? IS it Snape who changes him back?
That's exactly how I start my story "outlines." (Actually, it doesn't sound like a half bad story, does it?). I often have two files for each story, a notes file for the jottings and problem spots that I need to work out, along with scenes that have occurred to me but which I don't know the right place for yet, and the working file for when the muse hits and I'm writing writing writing. Eventually I put them all together, sometimes printed out though I'm getting better at doing this onscreen, and piece things together, deleting no longer needed notes and moving scenes around and getting a sense of how it flows best: "HarryElf does Snape's laundry" moves to before "HarryElf fucks up Snape's dinner and Snape yells at him," that sort of thing. I used to write the sex scenes first and let the rest come as it would (not always, but often). Now I find the sex scene writing (though not the idea of what's going to generally happen in them) comes last and is a LOT of work. Writing a noncliched sex scene is really difficult. Trying to, I should say -- one woman's cliche is another woman's beloved turn of phrase, so I can't be sure my sex scenes aren't total cliches to readers! Dialogue's easiest for me; fight scenes and action scenes of any sort are hard, so I work hard on them to try to make them realistic and not clunky (there aren't too many in fanfic; my original fic has more). I tend to be immensely lazy about developing new magical or social ideas about the HP world; that's not what I write fanfic for, so you'll never see that sort of clever addition to JKR's world from me, though I'm always very impressed by writers who do that.
My editing process, once the story's done, is to try my damnedest to remove every unnecessary word. Then I try again. Then I'm sick of the damn' thing and I post it. Sometimes I even spellcheck. :)
Aubrem: But you post in WIP form. Where in this process are you when you start posting a WIP? And where in this process is "This Thing of Darkness" (the second sequel to "Scratch") at the moment?
Aucta Sinistra: I generally start posting when I've got the whole thing "outlined" (to use an inappropriate word; when I know how it's going to go, broadly, and when I think I've solved the plot complications so I won't get derailed) and when I've got enough text written (around the halfway to two-thirds-of-the-way point, again, broadly) that I know I'll be finishing the story. "Hollow" was a trifle different in that I wrote and posted it on the fly, literally writing scenes, stopping at a good point, rereading, spellchecking and posting. That one flowed fast and I rarely had to stop and think; there really wasn't much in the way of that pre-writing process, you know, notes and scribbles and jottings. I knew I'd finish it (sometimes you just know *g*), so there was no concern for me about posting in such a rushed way. "Pariah" was the same; that one I wrote, from idea to finished product, in about a week. I pondered a bit for a couple of days, made a few minor notes, then just started writing. There were, in those two stories, almost no "fill in" bits missing, which is what made posting so quickly after writing possible. In longer stories like "Scratch" I've generally got quite a bit of the meaty scenes written before I start posting, and as often as not, the delay in posting comes from not having written the necessary little connecting scenes yet.
"This Thing of Darkness" is about, oh, 1/4 to 1/3 written (famous last words; they always end up longer than I mean them to) and it's completely plotted in the broad sense (I don't often plot individual scenes: part of that organic thing). I'm having difficulty with Harry's opening scenes because I'm having trouble getting a handle on his emotional state. I need it to have changed somewhat from "Scratch" and "Holly/Ivy" -- he's matured, he's lonely and frustrated and coming into his power and into his first real realization of that power -- but I'm not able to pin him down. Once I've got that (and sometimes the only way to do it is to forget about plotting/jotting and simply write/discard, write/discard, 'til something feels right) the plot will move things along.
Aubrem: Well, I'm sure you realize there are a lot of readers out there waiting for "This Thing of Darkness." No pressure. : ) What effect does feedback have on you - is it important? Is it one reason you post in WIP form?
Aucta Sinistra: This is a muddy area: Readers have told me, now and with past stories, that they're eagerly awaiting more. I really appreciate being told that. It's a warm and wonderful feeling to know people are enjoying what I do; one of the nicest feelings in the fandom (this is independent of the joy of writing) is to know that someone somewhere has been given pleasure by my stuff the way that I've been given pleasure by the stories I love. But pressure? Nope. I'm way too old for that. :)
I first started posting WIPs to see if the urgings of my three "fans" (at the time, bless 'em) would spur me. I found that it does, but to a limited extent. Reader encouragement is ... well, encouraging. That positive reality is at the back of my mind and I think that it must help to spur me, but it is a small part of my writing motivation. It's a positive awareness, an urge to post rather than an urge to write, if that makes sense. I write to the beat of the muse, man *g*. It cannot be otherwise. If I tried to write to a timetable or for others' reasons, I'd write much more poorly than I do.
So reader interest/feedback influences my posting, in that, simply, I post because it seems like people like it, and their liking it in turn pleases me (Hey! It all comes down to "I'm a feedback h0r!"). It doesn't really influence my writing. It would be, in my opinion, a bad thing if it did. If you want to tell a decent story you have to be answerable to the story. Period.
Feedback: lovely and appreciated, but not crucial to my continued wellbeing or to my writing. If I never got another peep out of anyone I'd continue writing; I'd just stop posting (and I'd be bummed, sure), and the writing itself would still be a joy to me. I'm one of those "I write because I can't not write" people (I can't remember who said that).
Aubrem:And how about other people's stories? Do you get a chance to read much? Who are your favorite writers?
Aucta Sinistra:I don't so much have favorite writers as I have favorite stories, for the simple fact that most of the good folks write in several pairings and I basically only read teh Snarry. I adore Delta's stuff, of course. In fact as part of my reward this weekend for getting actual work done I went back and reread several of her stories. I go back and reread Diana Williams' and Tara Tory's Snape-Harry, also, for feel-good comfort fic purposes. The cream of the Snarry crop kind of goes without saying and I can't off-hand think of any on that "cream" list that I didn't enjoy (you know, Tea, IYAP, Primer to the Dark Arts, etc.) though naturally there are one or two very popular stories that make me go "er...?" But I don't actually often reread the denser or darker "cream" ones, like IYAP, The Rain Keeps Falling, etc., because though they're wonderful, I kinda read fanfic for a happy ending. I don't mind or hate dark stories or dark endings -- some of those have been some of the best writing I've seen and I'm enriched for having read them -- but I don't often go back to them because I'm a wimp. :)
Top Favorites (Off the top of my head. There are probably others I'll kick myself for leaving out): The Familiar (easy pick); No Place Like Home (love that nasty Snape).
Recently adored: A Necessary Evil; So Lonely Without Me; The Dreaming Spires; The Measure of Our Torment; The Care Of Infants.
(If I didn't leave feedback for any of these, the authors have permission to hunt me down and demand it)
Aubrem: oooh yes, great stories, all of them. And how about amongst your own, are you fonder or prouder of some than others?
Aucta Sinistra: Whatever one I'm working on is the one I'm most fond of at any given time. Over time that can change, but the excitement of the still-in-progress work makes it my favorite; it's kind of like infatuation rather than love, you know? The sparkle's still on and there's no perspective to make you see the warts and stuff. As for done stuff: I'm proudest of "Scratch." I think overall it's the solidest HP I've done, the least fluffy, and because it's so long, I'm pleased that it seems to flow well in general. I'm pleased with "Hollow" for the slightly different (for me) characterization, but in retrospect it's a bit jerky; episodic in a slightly disorienting sense. It's safe to say that I think my later ones are better than my earlier ones. I don't hate any of them, at least. :)
Aubrem: You said earlier in this interview that chan's not for you. In "Scratch" Harry is still a student but I notice he is an older student - 17 I think? Do you have moral objections to chan or are you simply not interested in writing it? Do you read it?
Aucta Sinistra: I don't have moral objections to much of anything in fiction except bad writing. :) There's a certain appeal to a teenaged Harry with Snape; that's partly the appeal of extreme contrast and partly the appeal of the innocent experiencing all these intense emotions and sensations for the first time. However, my preference is for a teen old enough to have at least some faint idea of what he's getting into. I won't read extreme chan (really, anything under 14-ish, to me) because child-adult sex is just ick to me. I've no interest in little children fucking, whether each other or adults. In real life, I reach for my gun (hyperbole alert); in fiction, I just go "ick, no thanks" and move on. When Harry reaches almost adulthood is when he starts to become fanfictionally interesting to me as a sexual being. This isn't to say younger teens aren't sexual beings, in fiction or in real life; I refer only to the point at which I'm personally interested in reading/writing about them. I realize it's a grey area and anyone else's mileage may vary. Some folks would like a chan story where Harry's 11. Some would be horrified if he was anything less than 21. It's all where you feel comfortable with the sexuality -- and again, that's if comfortable is what you want to be when you're reading it. I read/write, generally, comfortable fic -- my preference is romantic, erotic, mildly angsty. There's fic out there that's deliberately uncomfortable and painful and troubling (some of it chan), and some of it's very good. I'll read it and appreciate it, but it's not "erotic" for me, in general. The stuff I read for erotic pleasure rarely has a Harry under the age of 17, simply because a sexual story with someone younger than that stops being, for me, comfy angsty romance and starts being uncomfortable and not sexually appealing.
This sounds like I only read for teh pr0n, which isn't so, but the element of the sexual/romantic relationship is certainly a large part of why I'm into the stories. Otherwise I'd read/write gen (as I did in MFU).
Aubrem:There are people who believe "comfortable" fiction to be of lesser literary quality than "uncomfortable" fiction. what do you say to that?
Aucta Sinistra:If by "literary" value one is referring to that quality in a story that makes one think and grow and challenge one's own perceptions and assumptions, or maybe get a glimpse of, or even a handle on, some eternal verity, I agree. Comfortable anything doesn't exactly push our boundaries as humans, does it? However, I do not necessarily equate "lesser literary value" with "lesser value." Good challenging thought-provoking fiction is one good thing; pleasant comfortable solid storytelling is another good thing. In general I argue that people aren't pushed enough to think and imagine and challenge their own assumptions. However, I appreciate the value of simple pleasures, too. A hike and a hug can be equally good for you in their different ways.
As a side note, some "uncomfortable" fiction (not the kind we're talking about above) is uncomfortable for the sake of it: that is, it's violent or coarse just for the shock value, like a little kid saying "fuck" out loud in church. I usually figure the writer will grow out of that eventually and I pass it by. :)
Aubrem: And finally, do you have any advice for new writers?
Aucta Sinistra: Read a lot. Read good stuff. Even read bad stuff, but learn the difference between the two. Read books.
Write a lot; you'll never get better if you don't practice. There's no substitute for starting at the beginning and putting one word after another 'til you get to the end. :)
Listen to criticism when it comes from a solid source. Once your ego calms down (and it always hurts; at least it hasn't stopped for me, and I've been writing for a billion years) back off and take a serious look at your work. If you can't listen when people tell you your stuff isn't perfect, you'll never get better. Compare what you've written to the best stuff out there; it helps.
A personal plea: For God's sake, learn grammar. Learn to spell. I know writers who feel the mechanics are beneath them. They're artists. They have a story to tell. To hell with the nuts and bolts. But a painter who can't tell which end of the brush to dip in the paint is a poor sort of painter; a sandwich maker who cuts off a finger every time he picks up a knife is a poor sort of sandwich maker.
Those nuts and bolts are what hold your story together; knowing how to use them enables you to make your stories solid and effective. Words are beautiful; they'll be your friends if you let them, tools rather than obstacles.
Get The Elements of Style and The Word (by the Associated Press; it's for journalism but contains fantastically practical advice on clean, intense writing. It's also a really fun read). READ THEM. Then read them again.
Follow all this advice and at the very least you'll be a mediocre writer like me! :)
* * *
Aucta Sinistra works for a newspaper in San Diego County. Her other avocation is music; when she's not working or writing she sings rock and the blues in bars.
Comments are more than welcome here
The second in our "Author Interviews" series is with
auctasinistra. Aucta entered the fandom as a writer less than a year and a half ago but has quickly become popular for her consistently well-written Snape/Harry romances. She generally posts them in installments on her livejournal and then archives them at Walking the Plank, Inkstained Fingers and Skyehawke.Aubrem: Hello Aucta, first questions first. : ) How long have you been writing fanfiction? Have you written for other fandoms? Do you write original fiction?
Aucta Sinistra: I didn’t really realize it was called that, but the first fanfic I clearly remember writing was after I watched the movie Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan. I so badly didn’t want him to die I wrote a bit of Sueage in which another ship visited the Genesis planet (all this will make no sense to non Trekkies) and found him alive. With all his people. People, you say? No, I’m not talking about Spock. I’m talking about Khan! The gorgeous Khan and his gorgeous sidekick Joaquin. Although that’s the first one I remember, I know I must’ve written “Alias Smith and Jones” stories before then, since I loved that show from the getgo, which was in 1971 if I’m remembering my getgos clearly. I’ve got a dozen half finished stories that I’ve had since I was a teenager that I still pull out occasionally to play with. My second clear fanfic memory is the story I started and soon abandoned after seeing The Man From UNCLE: The Fifteen Years Later Affair (This is long after I’d started writing original – fantasy – fiction; that began when I was 14. I still have that first story; handwritten on lined paper, and my God it sucks). The “Return” movie, as it’s called, got me totally hooked on The Man From UNCLE (the actual series was a trifle before my time) and I started watching reruns of that show and reading the novelizations and that leads me to how MFU was my first online fandom, because I was surfing about 4 years ago and came across some fanfic and got hooked on that. So MFU gets the credit for awakening me to the online fanfic world and to slash. J
Now I started reading the Harry Potter books at about that same time (that is, about 4 years ago). I read fantasy. That’s mostly what I read and write. I enjoy children’s fantasies a lot and I enjoyed these a lot. But I was never tempted to delve into reading the fanfic until (roughly) Prisoner of Azkaban / Goblet of Fire. I tiptoed over warily from MFU into the HP fandom and it was quite a shock. I had been writing MFU slash for a bit at this stage and looked mostly at the HP slash. No excuses or pretense of seeking literature – I was looking for pr0n. Snape Lucius pr0n, definitely due to the movies. That scene of the two of them side by side at the quidditch match is tailor-made eye candy. Unfortunately the Snape-Lucius I found was so disturbing (I couldn’t tell you what it was now) I ran away and dabbled warily in the shallow end of the slash pool for a while, avoiding all kinkage/channage/deathage/fanfiction.net
And this is a way longer answer than anyone could possibly want to read, but I’m old. I got a history, man. : )
Aubrem: We're all getting old, it just makes us more experienced. : ) So you got drawn in by movie Snape/Lucius and then were converted to book Snape/Harry. Why the switch? What is it about Snape/Harry that captures your imagination?
Aucta Sinistra: You know, it really was the occlumency lessons, I think. Snape had gotten more interesting, of course, with every book, and his scenes with Harry got nastier and nastier and more and more intense and ... They really do positively sizzle. Uh oh. I feel a tale coming on…one time years ago I started to write a novel. In it, the main character was this young guy who was going to fall madly in love with the young woman character who was already madly in love with an older male character, a man the young guy respected, honored, hero-worshipped. So. A triangle. I had it all planned. The young guy was also going to learn about magic, from an older sorcerer and – inadvertently – from a mysterious stranger who appeared out of nowhere. This stranger pops in and out of the story at odd moments and has brief, puzzling and argumentative scenes with the young protagonist. I gave very little analytical thought to why I enjoyed writing those scenes so much and kept adding more of them (the mysterious dude was meant to be a very minor character). Then a woman in my writing group said in passing, “There’s a lot of sexual tension between them.” I expect I gaped at her. Remember I was determined he’d fall in love with the girl. But she was dead right, and I hadn’t seen it. I’d been enamoured of the scenes, of those two guys together, their chemistry and tension and head-butting, but had never realized it was sexual ’til someone else pointed it out. Well, that all fell into place after that, and I tell this story because when I saw Snape and Harry in Order of the Phoenix, there it was. I don’t suggest JKR means it that way, or that if a reader went, “There’s a lot of UST in the Snape-Harry scenes,” she’d go, “Duh! That’s what’s happening there. Thanks!” and start slashing them. I only mean that I’ve learned that that wonderful, sometimes adversarial, tension that sucks you into the relationship between two characters can very easily become – very easily be – sexual. So I look at Snape and Harry in their occlumency scenes and, for me, it’s there. It is so there.
The added appeal is their differences in age, power, and experience. I like the clash of older/younger, experienced/inexperienced, emotionally closed/emotionally open. I also see similarities in their being odd men out, guys who are different from the people around them, bearing the weight of uninvited expectations and mistaken perceptions. Guys who keep secrets.
Then there’s just teh pretty, of course (though in my head Harry’s not movie Harry but is rather older; the chan thing’s mostly not for me).
But it’s mostly just the heat they strike off each other when they’re in the same room – whew. JKR may not mean it that way, but hell, I didn’t mean it that way in my novel, and I doubt I have to tell you where those two guys ended up. : )
Aubrem: Well, I know where Snape and Harry end up in most of your stories and I'm curious about how you decide what they do when they get there. How do you plan out the sex? Does what they do and who tops reflect their dynamic in the story?
AuctaSinistra: I don't choreograph everything: "Plot, plot, chase scene, sex scene with blow job, plot, argument, sex scene with bubble bath, Voldie duel, orgy and denouement." Not exactly. I prefer sex scenes (and to some extent my writing as a whole) to be organic; I let the muse take me where it will. For instance, in "The Holly and the Ivy," the scene in the bathtub was just sex. It's there for reasons (other than just pr0n, not that that's a bad reason) -- to show their attraction to one another, because they're two lonely males in love so it would be OOC for them not to have sex -- but the scene in itself isn't meant to convey anything beyond that, and no specific act (penetration/oral/French maid's costume) is necessary to make any points. They might've engaged in frottage in that scene and it would have been fine. If that's the way my muse had taken it, I would have gone with it (that's the organic part; I don't always stop and think "now what specific sex act is necessary to make my point?" because sometimes the sex per se is the point. That said, I do try to keep it in character, which means there is some thought and structure involved. Even in the sex-for-sex's-sake scene, Snape is dominant and possessive, because that's IC for the story). However, the first sex act in that story was making a definite (and probably rather ham-handed) point. Snape was jealous and angry. The speed, roughness and penetration were, in my view, a necessary representation of that: they were what an angry jealous Snape would do. Cuddly warm sex would have been out of character at that moment and wrong for the story.
As for toppage/bottomage: I just see Snape as needing to be a top, as seeing that as dominant and not willing to surrender that perceived power. I did write Snape bottoming in "Bottoms Up" because in a lighter humorous story I can do that. It's not that I can't be persuaded Snape would bottom. Other writers have done that. I just can't see the Snape in my head going there. Though I don't always express it in my stories I think Snape will always be a trifle jealous of Harry's power and fame, and on some level will want to dominate him because of that. My Harry would probably want to try topping but it would take time and experience for him to be able to ask for it.
That said, I wouldn't want readers to read too much into the sex scenes: In my current WIP (if you can call it that) I plan two sex scenes that each represent (and that I mean to use to reflect) two very different emotional states and power dynamics, and I considered switching who tops/bottoms to reflect that, but I don't want symbolism that's that heavy handed. Who they are and what they do out of bed is more important (says the woman who writes pr0n and doesn't even read G rated stories -- sheesh).
So yes, who tops reflects my perception of their perceptions of the relationship. :)
Aubrem: In "Hollow" you had a Snape who admitted he was attracted to powerful wizards - Voldemort, Dumbledore and finally the most powerful of all, Harry. This is a version of Snape that interests me very much - the powerful, controlled Snape who deep-down wants to be dominated by someone stronger. Do you think you will be exploring that theme further in the future?
Aucta Sinistra: Hm, For me, the desire to be near power has always been an aspect of Snape's character. I'd never explicated it before, but I can't imagine any of my Snapes, at least, not being this way to a certain extent. And although I think a part of him enjoys being dominated by powerful men (or women?), the real drive behind it is his jealousy of power and his desire to subjugate those who have it, rather than vice versa, even if it can only be briefly through sex -- hey! that sounds like he IS the Slytherin sex god, doesn't it? Odd that sex would become Snape's weapon against those more magically powerful than he, but there you go: it's a thought, anyway :). It was blatant in "Hollow" but exists in "Pariah" too, and "Scratch" and "The Holly and the Ivy" and, slightly more openly because of what happens, in the pending "This Thing of Darkness." In other words, I am exploring it a little in most of my Snarry (it's a blatant quality in the Snucius that's lingering in the back of my mind too), but at this instant I don't have solid plans to make it the foremost theme of anything.
Aubrem: Can you describe your writing process to us? People are always very curious about how other writers do what they do.
Aucta Sinistra: Fanfic is more haphazard than original fic. Generally I get an idea (always one that's been done before, occasionally from a story I'm reading, fanfic or original fic, where I go "I'd like to see what I could do with that idea," more often an image or dialogue or difficult situation that just occurs to me). Then I jot (mostly in Word, these days, though on paper in the olden days). I don't outline fanfic in any formal way because it's not long enough for me to feel I need to, but I do jot, like this (this is not a real idea I had, just e.g. off the top o' me head):
What if Harry were turned into a House Elf? And as part of the spell he couldn't tell anybody? Who did it? Why? What's needed to return him to himself and how will it result in scorching Snarry sex? Is evil Snape NICE to him, where no one can see so it doesn't get him anything? So Harry starts to see him in a different light? How the hell does Snape change him back? IS it Snape who changes him back?
That's exactly how I start my story "outlines." (Actually, it doesn't sound like a half bad story, does it?). I often have two files for each story, a notes file for the jottings and problem spots that I need to work out, along with scenes that have occurred to me but which I don't know the right place for yet, and the working file for when the muse hits and I'm writing writing writing. Eventually I put them all together, sometimes printed out though I'm getting better at doing this onscreen, and piece things together, deleting no longer needed notes and moving scenes around and getting a sense of how it flows best: "HarryElf does Snape's laundry" moves to before "HarryElf fucks up Snape's dinner and Snape yells at him," that sort of thing. I used to write the sex scenes first and let the rest come as it would (not always, but often). Now I find the sex scene writing (though not the idea of what's going to generally happen in them) comes last and is a LOT of work. Writing a noncliched sex scene is really difficult. Trying to, I should say -- one woman's cliche is another woman's beloved turn of phrase, so I can't be sure my sex scenes aren't total cliches to readers! Dialogue's easiest for me; fight scenes and action scenes of any sort are hard, so I work hard on them to try to make them realistic and not clunky (there aren't too many in fanfic; my original fic has more). I tend to be immensely lazy about developing new magical or social ideas about the HP world; that's not what I write fanfic for, so you'll never see that sort of clever addition to JKR's world from me, though I'm always very impressed by writers who do that.
My editing process, once the story's done, is to try my damnedest to remove every unnecessary word. Then I try again. Then I'm sick of the damn' thing and I post it. Sometimes I even spellcheck. :)
Aubrem: But you post in WIP form. Where in this process are you when you start posting a WIP? And where in this process is "This Thing of Darkness" (the second sequel to "Scratch") at the moment?
Aucta Sinistra: I generally start posting when I've got the whole thing "outlined" (to use an inappropriate word; when I know how it's going to go, broadly, and when I think I've solved the plot complications so I won't get derailed) and when I've got enough text written (around the halfway to two-thirds-of-the-way point, again, broadly) that I know I'll be finishing the story. "Hollow" was a trifle different in that I wrote and posted it on the fly, literally writing scenes, stopping at a good point, rereading, spellchecking and posting. That one flowed fast and I rarely had to stop and think; there really wasn't much in the way of that pre-writing process, you know, notes and scribbles and jottings. I knew I'd finish it (sometimes you just know *g*), so there was no concern for me about posting in such a rushed way. "Pariah" was the same; that one I wrote, from idea to finished product, in about a week. I pondered a bit for a couple of days, made a few minor notes, then just started writing. There were, in those two stories, almost no "fill in" bits missing, which is what made posting so quickly after writing possible. In longer stories like "Scratch" I've generally got quite a bit of the meaty scenes written before I start posting, and as often as not, the delay in posting comes from not having written the necessary little connecting scenes yet.
"This Thing of Darkness" is about, oh, 1/4 to 1/3 written (famous last words; they always end up longer than I mean them to) and it's completely plotted in the broad sense (I don't often plot individual scenes: part of that organic thing). I'm having difficulty with Harry's opening scenes because I'm having trouble getting a handle on his emotional state. I need it to have changed somewhat from "Scratch" and "Holly/Ivy" -- he's matured, he's lonely and frustrated and coming into his power and into his first real realization of that power -- but I'm not able to pin him down. Once I've got that (and sometimes the only way to do it is to forget about plotting/jotting and simply write/discard, write/discard, 'til something feels right) the plot will move things along.
Aubrem: Well, I'm sure you realize there are a lot of readers out there waiting for "This Thing of Darkness." No pressure. : ) What effect does feedback have on you - is it important? Is it one reason you post in WIP form?
Aucta Sinistra: This is a muddy area: Readers have told me, now and with past stories, that they're eagerly awaiting more. I really appreciate being told that. It's a warm and wonderful feeling to know people are enjoying what I do; one of the nicest feelings in the fandom (this is independent of the joy of writing) is to know that someone somewhere has been given pleasure by my stuff the way that I've been given pleasure by the stories I love. But pressure? Nope. I'm way too old for that. :)
I first started posting WIPs to see if the urgings of my three "fans" (at the time, bless 'em) would spur me. I found that it does, but to a limited extent. Reader encouragement is ... well, encouraging. That positive reality is at the back of my mind and I think that it must help to spur me, but it is a small part of my writing motivation. It's a positive awareness, an urge to post rather than an urge to write, if that makes sense. I write to the beat of the muse, man *g*. It cannot be otherwise. If I tried to write to a timetable or for others' reasons, I'd write much more poorly than I do.
So reader interest/feedback influences my posting, in that, simply, I post because it seems like people like it, and their liking it in turn pleases me (Hey! It all comes down to "I'm a feedback h0r!"). It doesn't really influence my writing. It would be, in my opinion, a bad thing if it did. If you want to tell a decent story you have to be answerable to the story. Period.
Feedback: lovely and appreciated, but not crucial to my continued wellbeing or to my writing. If I never got another peep out of anyone I'd continue writing; I'd just stop posting (and I'd be bummed, sure), and the writing itself would still be a joy to me. I'm one of those "I write because I can't not write" people (I can't remember who said that).
Aubrem:And how about other people's stories? Do you get a chance to read much? Who are your favorite writers?
Aucta Sinistra:I don't so much have favorite writers as I have favorite stories, for the simple fact that most of the good folks write in several pairings and I basically only read teh Snarry. I adore Delta's stuff, of course. In fact as part of my reward this weekend for getting actual work done I went back and reread several of her stories. I go back and reread Diana Williams' and Tara Tory's Snape-Harry, also, for feel-good comfort fic purposes. The cream of the Snarry crop kind of goes without saying and I can't off-hand think of any on that "cream" list that I didn't enjoy (you know, Tea, IYAP, Primer to the Dark Arts, etc.) though naturally there are one or two very popular stories that make me go "er...?" But I don't actually often reread the denser or darker "cream" ones, like IYAP, The Rain Keeps Falling, etc., because though they're wonderful, I kinda read fanfic for a happy ending. I don't mind or hate dark stories or dark endings -- some of those have been some of the best writing I've seen and I'm enriched for having read them -- but I don't often go back to them because I'm a wimp. :)
Top Favorites (Off the top of my head. There are probably others I'll kick myself for leaving out): The Familiar (easy pick); No Place Like Home (love that nasty Snape).
Recently adored: A Necessary Evil; So Lonely Without Me; The Dreaming Spires; The Measure of Our Torment; The Care Of Infants.
(If I didn't leave feedback for any of these, the authors have permission to hunt me down and demand it)
Aubrem: oooh yes, great stories, all of them. And how about amongst your own, are you fonder or prouder of some than others?
Aucta Sinistra: Whatever one I'm working on is the one I'm most fond of at any given time. Over time that can change, but the excitement of the still-in-progress work makes it my favorite; it's kind of like infatuation rather than love, you know? The sparkle's still on and there's no perspective to make you see the warts and stuff. As for done stuff: I'm proudest of "Scratch." I think overall it's the solidest HP I've done, the least fluffy, and because it's so long, I'm pleased that it seems to flow well in general. I'm pleased with "Hollow" for the slightly different (for me) characterization, but in retrospect it's a bit jerky; episodic in a slightly disorienting sense. It's safe to say that I think my later ones are better than my earlier ones. I don't hate any of them, at least. :)
Aubrem: You said earlier in this interview that chan's not for you. In "Scratch" Harry is still a student but I notice he is an older student - 17 I think? Do you have moral objections to chan or are you simply not interested in writing it? Do you read it?
Aucta Sinistra: I don't have moral objections to much of anything in fiction except bad writing. :) There's a certain appeal to a teenaged Harry with Snape; that's partly the appeal of extreme contrast and partly the appeal of the innocent experiencing all these intense emotions and sensations for the first time. However, my preference is for a teen old enough to have at least some faint idea of what he's getting into. I won't read extreme chan (really, anything under 14-ish, to me) because child-adult sex is just ick to me. I've no interest in little children fucking, whether each other or adults. In real life, I reach for my gun (hyperbole alert); in fiction, I just go "ick, no thanks" and move on. When Harry reaches almost adulthood is when he starts to become fanfictionally interesting to me as a sexual being. This isn't to say younger teens aren't sexual beings, in fiction or in real life; I refer only to the point at which I'm personally interested in reading/writing about them. I realize it's a grey area and anyone else's mileage may vary. Some folks would like a chan story where Harry's 11. Some would be horrified if he was anything less than 21. It's all where you feel comfortable with the sexuality -- and again, that's if comfortable is what you want to be when you're reading it. I read/write, generally, comfortable fic -- my preference is romantic, erotic, mildly angsty. There's fic out there that's deliberately uncomfortable and painful and troubling (some of it chan), and some of it's very good. I'll read it and appreciate it, but it's not "erotic" for me, in general. The stuff I read for erotic pleasure rarely has a Harry under the age of 17, simply because a sexual story with someone younger than that stops being, for me, comfy angsty romance and starts being uncomfortable and not sexually appealing.
This sounds like I only read for teh pr0n, which isn't so, but the element of the sexual/romantic relationship is certainly a large part of why I'm into the stories. Otherwise I'd read/write gen (as I did in MFU).
Aubrem:There are people who believe "comfortable" fiction to be of lesser literary quality than "uncomfortable" fiction. what do you say to that?
Aucta Sinistra:If by "literary" value one is referring to that quality in a story that makes one think and grow and challenge one's own perceptions and assumptions, or maybe get a glimpse of, or even a handle on, some eternal verity, I agree. Comfortable anything doesn't exactly push our boundaries as humans, does it? However, I do not necessarily equate "lesser literary value" with "lesser value." Good challenging thought-provoking fiction is one good thing; pleasant comfortable solid storytelling is another good thing. In general I argue that people aren't pushed enough to think and imagine and challenge their own assumptions. However, I appreciate the value of simple pleasures, too. A hike and a hug can be equally good for you in their different ways.
As a side note, some "uncomfortable" fiction (not the kind we're talking about above) is uncomfortable for the sake of it: that is, it's violent or coarse just for the shock value, like a little kid saying "fuck" out loud in church. I usually figure the writer will grow out of that eventually and I pass it by. :)
Aubrem: And finally, do you have any advice for new writers?
Aucta Sinistra: Read a lot. Read good stuff. Even read bad stuff, but learn the difference between the two. Read books.
Write a lot; you'll never get better if you don't practice. There's no substitute for starting at the beginning and putting one word after another 'til you get to the end. :)
Listen to criticism when it comes from a solid source. Once your ego calms down (and it always hurts; at least it hasn't stopped for me, and I've been writing for a billion years) back off and take a serious look at your work. If you can't listen when people tell you your stuff isn't perfect, you'll never get better. Compare what you've written to the best stuff out there; it helps.
A personal plea: For God's sake, learn grammar. Learn to spell. I know writers who feel the mechanics are beneath them. They're artists. They have a story to tell. To hell with the nuts and bolts. But a painter who can't tell which end of the brush to dip in the paint is a poor sort of painter; a sandwich maker who cuts off a finger every time he picks up a knife is a poor sort of sandwich maker.
Those nuts and bolts are what hold your story together; knowing how to use them enables you to make your stories solid and effective. Words are beautiful; they'll be your friends if you let them, tools rather than obstacles.
Get The Elements of Style and The Word (by the Associated Press; it's for journalism but contains fantastically practical advice on clean, intense writing. It's also a really fun read). READ THEM. Then read them again.
Follow all this advice and at the very least you'll be a mediocre writer like me! :)
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Aucta Sinistra works for a newspaper in San Diego County. Her other avocation is music; when she's not working or writing she sings rock and the blues in bars.
Comments are more than welcome here
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