Interview with kai
Our third Author Interview at the snarry_reader is with kaiz, who has written in a number of fandoms. Within Harry Potter she has written several slash pairings as well as het and gen and is best known for two of the most recced Snape/Harry stories in the fandom: Contemporary Magical Innovations, by H. Granger and Wabi-Sabi. Her recent horror story A Necessary Evil (scroll down) is also fast becoming a classic.

Visit kai's website to find more insightful and beautifully written stories. One of my favorites is Justice For All, a look at how young Snape became a deatheater and spy. (Snape, McGonagall, gen. A prequel to A Matter of Trust: Part I, Snape/Kingsley cowritten with Josanpq).

Also be sure to check out kai's extensive recs page, an excellent source of recs for all sorts of genres and pairings.

(To read a Russian translation of this interview click here)

Aubrem: I see from your website that you participate in a number of fandoms. Can you tell us about your fannish history?


kai: Hm, well.


Although I'm a bit of an on-line dinosaur (got my first email account in 1984) and am a veteran of USENET, I didn't truly get involved in on-line fandom until around 1995 and didn't actually write any fanfic until 1998.


Before that, there were many TV shows and movies and books that I loved and squeed over with friends, and played endless "What if?" games with plots and characters and scenarios. I'd known in a kind of vague way that fanfic and cons existed, but I never went to any cons or sought out any fans in RL except those who were already in my immediate circle. Sort of the "Did you see last night's episode of X?" around the water cooler type of experience.


Then, in 1995, somehow I stumbled upon a ST: Voyager fanfic archive and, for whatever reason--probably because I hated my job at the time and was frustrated with RL--I got completely hooked. Three cheers for escapism! All these glorious and varied stories about characters I loved to watch on the show, all available with the click of a mouse, for free! Until that time, I'd only read original fiction and erotica on the various USENET groups; I'd never dipped my toe into fanfic.


From that point on, one thing just led to another as I followed links to new mailing lists, archives, pairings, fandoms, and kinks. Although, to be fair, roaming around the alt.sex.* hierarchies on USENET had exposed me to pretty much every sexual kink under the sun by that point! :-) I started watching shows 'fannishly'...taking more careful notice of canon, paying greater attention to nuance and to multiple interpretations of episodes, I began to follow discussions that other fans had about shows, pairings, etc. Generally, I just lurked and scarfed fanfic.


In 1997, I followed a convoluted trail of links, stumbled into Sentinel fandom and for whatever fateful reason, I delurked. I began participating in discussions, sharing tapes, making friends on-line, going to cons, and ultimately, trying my hand at writing some fanfiction of my own.


By that point, it had been over 17 years since I'd written any fiction. I'd written non-fiction professionally, but after high school, I stopped writing fiction entirely, mainly because 1) it was too much work, 2) there was no audience yes, I'm one of those people who only writes to post! and 3) my creative energies got drawn off in other directions (i.e. visual arts).


With Sentinel fandom, however, for the first time in ages, I found that there were some stories I wanted to tell. Since there was a ready-made audience for them, I decided to take a crack at the fanfic thing. And, so, here I am!


Aubrem: And we're so glad you're here! : ) But when and why Harry Potter? What drew you into the fandom? Specific characters? Which and why?


kai: I had been becoming disenchanted with my primary fandom, Highlander, for quite a while, and had started looking around for another universe to explore. I'd read quite a few HP stories at that point, but nothing especially grabbed me.


Then, some time in early 2002, a friend of mine lent me all of her HP books. I scarfed them all in a couple of days, finally saw the potential, then went looking for fanfic archives. For quite a while, I read primarily Harry/Draco, but the tone of fannish interaction in that portion of HP fandom and the focus on adolescent characters, simply were not to my taste.


Somehow I followed a trail of links (yes, this is a theme for me!) to a cache of fanfic that focused on adult characters, mainly Snape, if I recall correctly. From there, I found some mailing lists, mickeym twisted my arm until I got an LJ, and from that point on, there was no turning back!


The HP universe has everything that I like both as a fan and a writer.


As a fan, there are a wealth of canon details to obsess over, a complicated storyline, interesting and complex characters, speculative elements (notice how all my fandoms contain some element of science fiction or fantasy!) and a lot of unanswered questions that are likely to stay unanswered by JKR.


As a writer, the HP universe is a gigantic playground! It offers the space to ask every type of "What if?" question, be it cultural, technical, historical, concerning character-development, plot, you name it, you can ask it or try it out in the HP universe! Given my focus, as a writer, on telling stories, floating theories (via fiction rather than essays), and exploring various themes, HP is my idea of a perfect fandom. The universe offers a solid scaffolding upon which to build, but at the same time, it doesn't overly restrict your imagination.


It also has a dynamic and diverse fannish community...places and people who support explorative fiction and radical "What if?" scenarios. Many other fandoms I've been in have become hide-bound over time, crystalizing into a kind of One True Interpretation, usually defended vociferously by a cadre of fans intent on squashing debate or deviance from that One Truth. This is one of the reasons that I became disenchanted with Highlander. Fortunately, HP is enormous enough that if one bit of the fandom starts to crystalize in ways that I find too restricting, it's easy enough to migrate over to another part that offers more freedom.


As to your question about characters, when I write, I tend to be more interested in the adult characters than the adolescents. When I do write about the adolescents, I prefer to "age them up". Mainly because, as a writer, I find that the sorts of stories I want to tell tend to deal with issues that confront adults. As an example, I don't especially find coming-of-age sorts of themes compelling to write about. Not that I won't ever write one! I've learned to never say never when it comes to fanfic!


As a reader, however, I will literally read (and enjoy) anything! My main constraints on reading fiction have less to do with pairings (I'm not an OTP sort of person) or genre, and so on, and more to do with available time. For the past several years, RL has been extremely busy which has cut down on the amount of fiction that I can read and the extent to which I can participate in discussions.


Aubrem: Your "What if" scenarios are fascinating. Your longer stories appear to revolve around ethical or moral themes - particularly whether the ends justify the means and having the courage to do what is necessary - in effect sacrificing one's innocence for the greater good. In Contemporary Magical Innovations, by H. Granger you have Snape and Harry creating and using the "unconscionables." In A Necessary Evil you have the ultimate dilemma of what to do about a possibly evil fetus and in Give and It Shall Be Given Unto You Harry has absolute power and uses it as he sees fit. Are these ethical themes the inspiration for your stories? Do you see yourself as primarily a storyteller or are you more interested in the larger questions your stories raise?


kai: These are difficult questions to answer, since I tend not to look at my stories as a 'body of work' and rather as single instances of, er, feverish creative output. :-)


I would say that first and foremost, I think of myself as a storyteller. Or perhaps an idea communicator is a bit more accurate (if pretentious-sounding!), because I use whatever I think is the best strategy to get an idea across. Sometimes fiction is the best way. Other times, non-fiction is. Or a piece of software. Or a piece of art. Etc.


Anyway, different fandoms and characters seem to lend themselves to different types of "What if" scenarios. in Highlander, for instance, it's easy to ask questions about immortality and personal growth or change. In Stargate: SG1, questions about identity and friendship/relationships are easy to ask. In Brimstone, questions about power and its consequences leapt to my mind first. And so on.


Looking back on it, 'choice' and 'cause and consequence' seem to be at the heart of the many of the questions I've asked in the HP fandom. But really, that aspect of the story is just running along in the background while I'm writing, it isn't really the engine that drives the plot along. The more important question for me to answer is "What happens next?" or "Where the hell am I going with this?" A theme might play into that, but it won't answer either question fully.


I suspect that I'm passing out of my 'choice' phase in HP though, and on to something else in the next stories I plan to write!


As for inspiration, that's a very difficult question to answer. I most often get inspiration from talking theory with other fans. Batting around different interpretations about canon events, speculating on what might come next in upcoming books, taking about stories I've read or would like to read--that's actually an important source of inspiration for me.


Imagining what might have happened if an author decided to go in a different direction, or if the story had different initial conditions, or just thinking, "Gee, I'd love to read a story that has X in it." Or "Why aren't there more stories that have Y in them?" Since I figure I ought to either put up or shut up, if there's a story that I want to read but no one else seems to have written, then I figure I'd better start typing rather than whining! ;-)


I'm also a bit of a sucker for challenges--either set by others or myself!--which is how several of my longer stories happened.


Also, every so often, I'll just get an image in my head (I tend to be a rather visual writer) and that leads to me wonder, "How did that scene come to be? What's the story behind that image?" A number of the shorter stories I've written (both in HP and other fandoms) came about because an image "just popped into my head" so to speak.


Aubrem: What then is your writing process once you have that image, challenge or idea?


kai: As I mention in this LJ entry, I'm what I call a Random Access Writer. Basically this means that, when I write, I skip around and write the scenes that call to me or that I think are critical, first, rather than following a linear outline from beginning to end. I've definitely been known to write the ending before I get around to writing the beginning of a story! (For more details, see this thread. )


When it comes to writing, I have a kind of holodeck in my head. Which means that I get information about a scene in all five senses--sight, sound, touch, taste, smell--and I can rotate the characters around in my head, rewind or fast-forward through action, add or delete set elements or characters, move them around the room, and so on. Usually, this is a good thing, because all I have to do is set up the scene in the holodeck, let it play out, then write down what I see. Unfortunately, there is also a downside.


For one thing, if I can't 'see it' (or maybe 'perceive it' is more accurate here), I can't write it. So if I don't know what's around the metaphorical corner (or how I'm going to get from point A to point B), I can't write that part of the story...which is when RAW comes in handy--I can always just go on to another scene!


Another problem is that all plot possibilities exist in my head at once, so I'm constantly being forced to make choices about what will happen next. You know that classic tale of the sculptor who finds the shape of within the marble and carefully chisels it out? Well, I'm the exact opposite. I look at that block and can see every possible figure in it, the question is...which one do I chisel out?


This is actually one reason why not writing stories down is so tempting for me and why, without an audience, I wouldn't bother! I'm quite content having all those stories exist simultaneously in my head. Having an audience forces me to collapse all those quantum possibilities down into one waveform, which can be frustrating, because committing to some choices in the story means that I have to rule other (possibly desirable) ones out.


Luckily, when I get a story idea, I also typically get a burst of scenes/snippets of dialogue/etc. (key-frames) that appear in my head that I know will be important to the development of the story. So those key-frames help rule out some of the possibilities from the outset.


Aubrem: So you have all these infinite possibilities in your head and must choose. Do you make outlines? Do you write drafts with different versions and then choose? What is it that makes you choose one plotline over another?


kai: I don't create formal outlines for fiction. Instead, I write down either the full scenes, or summaries of the scenes, in the approximate position where they would occur in the narrative (which might be different from where they would occur in the actual timeline of the story). Those are the milestones that I have to hit. Then, I figure out how I have to get from one milestone to the next. Since the milestones might be part of the plot arc, relationship arc (if there is one), or one (of several) character arcs, figuring out how to bridge milestones can be tricky. I often will revise, delete, or add a milestone if my original conception of it doesn't mesh well with the rest of the scenes.


I don't really have drafts, per se, because I'm always working on the entire story all at once. I don't work on one part and then set it aside to work on another part. Instead, I may write a scene that's 3/4 of the way into the story and immediately pop back to make an adjustment to the first three scenes because I need to change the lead-in conditions. Fortunately, I use a text editor that lets me view multiple chunks of the story all at once!


When the story is finished, spell-checked and ready to be sent to the beta, that, I suppose, is my first draft. This is one of the reasons why I can't really post WIPs to formal places. I never really know if I might have to alter something in a early part of the story in order to hit a later milestone (or a milestone I didn't realize needed to exist in the first place). I post snippets on my LJ since I consider it an informal venue, for people who like to see how stories undergo changes as they're being written. People who like that sort of thing can hang out and watch. People who don't enjoy that can wait until the 'official' version is posted.


As a side note, unexpected milestones--or unexpectedly complex milestones--are the most frequent reason that stories tend to 'grow' on me. I think it'll only take a few paragraphs to get from A to B, when suddenly, A.1, A.2, and A.3 appear in between, and I discover that A.2 requires 3000 words to make it happen. Many a friend of mine has heard a loud "ARGH!!!!" from my corner of cyberspace when that has happened!


Also, fiction writing for me is a social and interactive process. I almost never write fiction in a vacuum. In fact, I've only ever written the very shortest of stories without input from other people. Usually, I am sending various people snippets as I'm writing and I get good feedback/suggestions/reader reactions. before anything ever really gets 'committed' to the 'final' version. Those are frequently the same people who I've chatted with when developing the story idea, so they have some idea what I'm trying to accomplish and can give me a 'thumbs up'/'thumbs down' if I'm hitting my target or way off base.


That interaction is one of the most important factors that helps me narrow down the plot possibilities for a story. In addition, the message, or point that I'm trying to get across/"picture I'm trying to paint" will help narrow down the possibilities.


If I don't have a very good idea where the story is headed, where it will end, what needs to happen in it, I don't bother to write it down. I've tried the technique of "writing until you find the story" and it simply doesn't work for me. 100% of all the stories that I never finished were undertaken without a firm idea of what I was trying to say and what kind of plot/character/relationship arc was going to take place in the story. And for me, there's nothing that irritates me more than writing stuff that never gets posted!


Aubrem: Of your Harry Potter fanfiction, which stories are your favorites? Can you tell us a little bit about how you got your original ideas for them, what got you excited to write them, a bit about your characterization? I know we'd all be interested in reading a little writer's commentary on, say, Contemporary Magical Innovations or A Necessary Evil.


kai: Well, I don't really have an over-all favorite. I like different stories for different reasons, reasons that typically have nothing to do with what a reader might like/dislike about the end product. For instance, there are stories where I enjoyed a part of the process of writing it--such as the brainstorming-with-friends part, or writing a specific scene that just 'clicked', or being able to add/subtract/substitute just one word that completely changed the tone/message of the story, or finding a clever way to bridge two scenes, etc. Other times, I liked the way the fragmented story suddenly came together at the end, or how I managed to meet some kind of internal challenge I'd set for myself during the project. None of those things have anything to do with the reader's experience at all.


As for how each story came about...both of the stories you mention, A Necessary Evil and Contemporary Magical Innovations, were the result of accepting a challenge. In a way, all my stories result from some sort of 'challenge,' either a formal one--such as in the case of a fest--or an informal or internal one that I've set for myself or a friend has talked me into!


In the case of A Necessary Evil, Chowderhead dared me to write Pregnant!Dumbledore. Almost immediately, I got the image of Dumbledore with his hand in a jar of Bertie Botts Beans searching for the pickle-flavored ones. Then, I wondered what the hell to do with it! But, rather than write a parody, which was the more obvious route, I thought I'd take the whole idea seriously instead. When I starting thinking about how Albus came to be pregnant, suddenly, the plot summary itself ("After the Final Battle, Albus is pregnant and Voldemort is almost-dead yet again") jumped into my head. At the same time, I was thinking, "Hmm, I've never written a horror story before, I wonder what would happen if..." Those two notions collided in my brain and *wham* the story idea was born.


When I realized that the story was from Snape's POV, and that he was deeply conflicted about Albus's pregnancy, all sorts of ethical and philosophical questions arose: are some events 'destined' to happen? how much free will do we really have? how far are we willing to go to do what we think is right? how do we decide what's right or wrong when all we can see is shades of gray? how does love (of all types) restrict or widen the scope of our choices? And I wanted to somehow show how each of the characters wrestled with their own answers to those questions, although the main focus was on Snape's internal conflict with all those issues.


As with other RAW projects, I wrote the first few scenes, a couple scenes in the middle, then the last two scenes within about a day of one another. It took way more scenes--and months--than I expected to make the two ends meet!


CMI was inspired by one of the Snape Fuh-Q Fest challenges--"Use Snape's voice as a weapon"--although I didn't make the deadline! This story was fun because I enjoy writing humor and i like the technical aspects of world building and making up magical systems. I also set an internal challenge for myself by trying weave together pseudo-non-fiction and fiction together to show how what we know as 'history' is only an interpretation of the events in question, rather than a definitive account of what 'really' happened.


That bit of editorializing was inspired, in part, by the account of Wendelin the Weird in Harry's text book (in PoA) describing how she enjoyed being burnt at the stake, and how all a real witch or wizard had to do to escape burning was to cast a simple Flame Freezing Charm. I mean, do any readers really buy that? Surely that's not the whole story. What about magical folk who weren't skilled enough to perform the charm? What about those who didn't know the charm existed? And what about all the poor Muggles who had no chance to escape burning? Anyway, I wanted to show a contrast between each character's take on 'what really happened' and how none of them represent the 'whole' story. Certainly not Hermione's account, which likely would be given special societal weight since 1) it's 'non-fiction', 2) it's written in an academic style, and 3) it's got copious footnotes!


Other stories like Wabi-Sabi, Native Tongue, and To Sow and to Reap just sort of 'popped out.' I either got an image in my head or heard the voice of the protagonist narrating and went along for the ride!


In the case of Wabi-Sabi, I was curious what a person like Harry--who'd defeated Voldemort, who was heralded as a hero, who'd tried to distance himself from the defining moments of his childhood--might find desirable in a physically imperfect and former nemesis like Snape.


With Native Tongue, I wanted to explore Harry's (rather huge, imo) trust and attachment issues, and how he might learn to overcome them with the help of someone who is just as damaged.


To Sow and to Reap was an odd story in that it rather dictated itself to me from the first sentence on, in a linear fashion. I didn't realize where it was headed until suddenly I'd arrived at the end! I have no idea where that story came from!


Each story is it's own little universe, so I don't always have a consistent vision of a single character from story to story. I like to experiment with different interpretations on why a character might be the way he or she is and how they might develop in the future if they get certain challenges thrown at them.


Oddly enough, none of those interpretations necessarily mesh with how I read the characters in the actual texts! For instance, I don't actually see the Dumbledore of the books as totally evil and manipulative, but it sure can be fun to write him that way! :-)


Aubrem: Very interesting! Thank you so much for the insight - especially into "A Necessary Evil." And when you're not writing, what do you read? Do you have favorite authors or favorite stories?


kai:I'm not joking when I say that I'll pretty much read anything. Up to and including cereal boxes. However, I do have preferences. For non-fannish stuff, I like non-fiction on topics such as science, social science, gender, astrology, medicine, alternative medicine, ancient and modern cultures, religion, politics, etc. For fiction, I prefer fantasy and science fiction to other genres, though I'm not averse to techno-thrillers and psychological-thrillers either!


As for fanfiction, that's a *very* long answer, especially because I read in so many different fandoms. For the HP fandom, though, my recs page will give you a pretty good sense of the many writers whose stories I enjoy!


I'm a big fan of plot, emotional resonance, and unique interpretations of canon events or characters when it comes to fanfic. I really don't have a One True Characterization or a One True Interpretation of canon (although admittedly, there are some that I prefer more than others). I'm mainly in fanfic for the diversity, to see how different fans interpret and extrapolate from canon. I especially love to see how several writers can start out with the same premise or same general plot and yet take their stories in tremendously unique directions from one another.


Aubrem:And finally, can you tell us what you're working on now? Do you have any nice long plotty Snape/Harrys lined up for the future?


kai:In the HP fandom, I'm working on a couple of largish projects right now. My top priority at the moment is writing part 2 of Matter of Trust, the Kingsley/Severus collaboration with Josanpq. Once that's complete, we'll be on to part 3!


In addition to Matter of Trust, I'm also plotting out a 'Snape pursues Harry' story (loosely based on some of the themes I touched on in Wabi-Sabi) that unexpectedly turned into a combination mystery/action-adventure/romance novel.


Those are the big projects. dementordelta and I have been talking about a collaboration, too, and smaller ideas pop up all the time, of course. Usually when I least expect it! I have at least one rather dark D/s-themed Harry/Snape/Draco WIP lurking on my hard-drive that I'd love to complete one of these days...who knows?


When I first came to HP, I decided that it was going to be my Anything Goes fandom, that I'd experiment and try out all sorts of crazy ideas. You've witnessed the results of that attitude so far! Therefore, I have absolutely no doubt that one day soon, I'll be hanging out in AIM or YIM or IRC, or reading someone's LJ, and lo and behold another irresistible challenge will drop out of the ether, and off I'll go on another weird and fun new tangent!


Aubrem:I am *so* excited about that mystery/action Snape pursues Harry story. : ) - and of course all the rest! Thank you very much for taking the time to answer my questions, kai. I know it took time away from your writing and I appreciate it!


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kai is a former engineer turned small business owner in the arts. When not working, writing, or sleeping, she practices yoga and meditation, sings in a chorus, and hangs out with friends, on-line and off-line, usually drinking some kind of exotic tea.