Sleeping Beauty, Hogwarts Style by Tara Tory Title: Sleeping Beauty, Hogwarts Style Author: Tara Tory Rating: PG13 Category: Alternate Universe, First Time, Romance, Humour Warnings: None Story Link:here Summary: Snape falls prey to Malfoy machinations and into a magical sleep. Who can break the spell? Author's Notes: Yet another big chunk of fun and fluff, more or less in fairy tale mode. Reviewer: Gaycrow
A very humorous and clever parody of the Sleeping Beauty story.
Snape falls into a magical sleep after eating an apple tart doctored by Lucius Malfoy. Dumbledore realises that Snape is the victim of the Sleeping Beauty Curse, and arranges to have a glass coffin made. He sets it up on a marble stand in the foyer right outside the doors to the Great Hall, and above it places a sign that says “All visitors (over 18) are required to kiss the exhibit before proceeding into the castle. Yes, on the lips.”
Even though Snape is unable to move or speak, he still retains the ability to feel and see, and has to undergo the indignity of being kissed by hundreds of witches and wizards, all attempting to see if they are Snape’s one true love.
Ugh. Nothing Snape had ever imagined was worse. For one thing, one of the first to kiss him was the noxious man selected to be his replacement. Cordwainer Carter. Ha! Cordwainer Codswallop! That fake, that charlatan, that oaf!
We can all guess who turns out to be the one to awaken the Sleeping Beauty, and Snape's reaction is typical:
"I suppose I don't have rooms here anymore. Take me to yours. I want a shower. I want coffee. I want a bottle of fire whisky. I want to kill Lucius Malfoy. I want decent black robes! I want...."
"Me?" Harry suggested, hopefully.
"Yes, although I must say here and now that if you kiss me on the lips I will punch your nose in. I never want to be kissed there again. Kiss me anywhere else, but not there."
"Sleeping Beauty, Hogwarts Style" has some very funny lines that made me giggle out loud - the fate of Lucius and Draco Malfoy is particulary amusing and satisfying.
Tara Tory is such a wonderful writer, and this is such a light, fluffy, entertaining story, that I was prepared to overlook the few Americanisms that usually make me run for cover. Most people reading the story probably won’t even notice them, but if you do, carry on - "Sleeping Beauty, Hogwarts Style" is well worth the effort.